5 steps that will help you accept & love yourself
There is a part of us (and lets admit – a rather big one) that aims to live in an imaginary world. This might lead to a conflict situation involving not just our relationships with others, but also our relationships with our inner selves. The ability to accept the reality as it is might be considered as one of the signs of maturity, which approves, that we have learned something within this lifetime.
We can assume, that there’s nothing bad about dreaming. Almost all of the positive thinking theories are for it not against, since imagining can really help to achieve our wonderful goals. However, the problem might occur when our imagination conflicts with reality too boldly. One of the examples might be our “life is a fairytale” daydream already rooted in childhood. We all dreamt of the prince Charming to cross our life’s path and then stay in our lives forever. We tend to image the perfect male being that should be by our side, which then turns into attempts to ‘reshape’ the actual person that is standing right next to us. As all of us know – it is impossible to change anyone. It truly is, unless the person himself is willing and motivated enough to become a better self. As a resume of all those attempts we get a disappointment. The same goes with the dream about our perfect job, perfect house etc. The catch is – the more concerned we become about all of this the itchier it gets!
It’s very important to realize that the meaning and purpose of our lives doesn’t limit itself within the frames of improvement of our physical living conditions. James Redfield in his book “The Celestine Prophecy”, sets a question: “How many acquaintances do you have that are obsessed with their jobs? Such workaholics that just cannot push the STOP button? They cannot step outside their daily work routine since ‘taking a breath’ might mean to have some time to dig deeper. And that is something a lot of people try to outflank.” Also a pediatrician Peteris Klava, within his lectures puts a great emphasis on the fact that one of our greatest enemies is our inability to get rid of our exaggerated egos. He emphasizes the importance of fully understanding oneself as an individual instead of running from the truth. “If you are too overtaken by your personal ‘to do list’, it is impossible to love”, says Klava.
So here it goes – 5 insights on how to get to know yourself better!
- Always keep in mind that you are not the center of the whole Universe! We love to exaggerate the importance of ourselves, which then turns into arrogance and feelings of being better than others. Lets be real – there is nothing flattering nor beneficial within that. By wearing this kind of mask we become even more fragile, since super-huge ego is always a slave for its own as well as others’ criticism. Lets face it – the only people that truly care about us are the closest ones, by that I mean relatives and very close friends. You can receive invitations to fancy parties considering yourself a part of elite community, which is always there through the glam-and-glow scenes of your life, however, when things go wrong only a few will be by your side to help you make it through the toughest times!
- Accept others the way they are! Can’t? Then change the environment and people that surround you! Lets be honest – we can be the masters of criticism when it comes to criticizing others. However, this inner discontent with other people can be very destructive and even dangerous, cause it can soak us dry till we drop down dead. Sounds horrible? But that’s just the way it is. Surrounding ourselves with the wrong people can be the death to us, our inner light and our bright personalities. I suppose we all have faced the situation, when it’s hard to quit, still you know and feel it with your every cell that the person makes your world and life miserable. In these situations do not try to be over compassionate and sacrifice your happiness. The sooner you end the contact with such people the better, for all of you.
- Conflicts almost never solve anything. Not for nothing there is a saying that the smartest one always gives in! James Redfield in his book “The Celestine Prophecy” states that by controlling other person we try to absorb his energy, and that is the exact motivation of doing that. The theory in a book says that we are eager to make a conflict not cause we want to win – it’s because we want the reaction, and it’s energy to charge our own batteries. So the easiest trick to avoid making conflicts is to charge our batteries somewhere else. A lot of energy can be gained from mother nature, healthy exercises or just inspiring and beautiful music. Try it and you’ll see – avoiding conflicts will become a very natural reaction of yours.
- The forgiveness sets you free! I assume that as regards our previous partners we have noticed some similarities. By not letting go and forgiving, life makes as bump into those people again and again. That could be the purpose and reason for these unscheduled meetings – the learning of forgiveness. To start all over from a blank clear-white page, it is very important to let go and let the past stay in the past, not live in our present thoughts. As Mike Dooley has mentioned in his book “Infinite Possibilities” , if you are still mentally attached to a particular person there is something missing within your own reality and that definitely isn’t that person. It is very important to realize that the best is ahead not in the past within the memories of what was. Push yourself to let go so that your hands and heart are free and capable of receiving the great things that are still ahead!
- Unique, amazing, one of a kind – yes, those words describe you! You should always keep that in mind! Don’t try to make yourself a copy of someone else, since there will be people who will appreciate you just because you are JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Don’t be afraid to face your flaws – we all have them, no one is perfect. So it is completely normal to have faults and still be amazing! It is very important gain the courage to live your own life instead of hiding from the reality by chasing and analyzing lives of others. Find YOUR style, YOUR hobby and LET YOURSELF BE AMAZING, cause that’s just the way you are! Just as the Bruno Mars said in his song. And I couldn’t agree more.